THE LIFE OF A ZOMBIE
HE AND I moved in together a week ago, and I am still blown away by my feelings for him. I had given up after my last date ended with hostage negotiators yelling through a megaphone, Put the machete down, sir! at the shirtless, sweating maniac holding the blade to my throat on the roof.
A friend suggested I try a dating service, Perfect Love, and I spent one long day posting a picture of myself (in a tube top and spandex pants, gut hanging out, singing into a spatula) and answering question after question.