The damn Queen!

I looked perfect: peeking over one Bare Shoulder at the sea beyond and

When I scrolled through the shots Later, there she was

Poking her head into the frame in a Diamond tiara and Los Pollos Hermanos tee-shirt

The next night I was looking into my Man’s eyes and he said, Baby I want a forever-picture of you

Looking so fine and I gasped, I literally Gasped, when I saw how good I looked

And sent the shot to everyone

And everyone wrote back Ha ha, or, Go OQ!

She had managed to get one crazy eye and her tongue stuck out behind me at the bar

She is in everyone of my honeymoon shots!

Dressed as a manatee in the water; a Stone on the coast, and, once, as my waiter with a pencil jabbed in her hair

Jay says he can photoshop her out

But he doesn’t want to

They’re hilarious, babe, he said
And I ran upstairs crying and took

A supersad selfie and yeah, she was there

In a Psi disguise busting Gangnam-styles

I’m scared to watch our porny movie, I Wrote her c/o Buckingham Palace and

Bitch wrote back

Fuck it if you got no sense of humour

On the thickest, creamiest stationery I’ve ever seen, sealed with red wax

And attached to a picture, if course, of Me yelling at Jay as she swings from the chandelier

In a picture she calls Some Random Girl signed xooooooooooo

Oh I forgot she’s dressed in an ape Suit and laughing her sweet ass off.

  • Alan

    One of my friends is having this sorta life, where her ex shows up everywhere…


    • Sorry for your friend! Thanks for writing xo

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